I mean seriously. What's wrong with me?!? I have always been the most responsible person ever (even my parents thought that I was lame as a teenager), never did anything stupid, kept my focus on things I wanted and well, everything pretty much worked out great for me.
But now, I am just over all that. I do not know when the change has occurred. I do crappy job looking for a job, I still have not figured out my thesis, I ate hamburgers and hotdogs last week and drank Sprite and am tempted to do very very stupid things. I know that it is not the end of the world and I am still doing better than most people but it is not like it used to be. I really need to get a grip and refocus myself- especially job and school-wise.
Fortunately, although I am tempted to do stupid things that I would never ever do just a few months ago, I have been successful in stopping myself before I actually act. I am not going to go into precise examples here because I am not proud of myself (although you must take this with a bit of reserve, since I am a person who for example never crosses streets on red light so stupid things I do might not be that stupid by overall standards, but they are stupid by my personal standards- like drinking Sprite and eating hotdogs...)
So what am I trying to say here? Oh yeah. My rational side got blinded by the vision of possible podium placing in triathlon and I have almost (almost!) signed up for another triathlon in 10days. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My heart wanted to do the race, mostly for bad reasons- placing, award and performing well in front of friends, although there were some good reasons as well- I am sure I can do better in swim and more I race more experienced and possibly faster I become. But my brain knew from the very beginning that it is the stupidest idea ever and even if my ITB cooperated this race would still put me couple steps back and jeopardize my return to running. My rational, responsible, good-sense nature just flew out the window and was replaced by a completely dumb behavior. Just couple months back I would never ever think about signing up for a race that I knew would most likely injure me but now I have no problem thinking about it.
Fortunately, my old me is somewhere deep inside and still has the final word on most (unfortunately not all) matters. But I must say that my old me is starting to come back. Thankfully!
So that being said, I am NOT GOING TO DO the tri in 2 weeks. Even if my ITB feels great. Even if my new friends will be there and they keep saying that I can kick some serious ass. Even if I know I can improve my time by just getting more experience. It is not worth it at this point. There are going to be other races, this summer, fall, next year. I have time. Now the most important thing is to heal my ITB and start running again!
Therefore, if I change my mind in few days (and I am 93% positive I will), do not let me sign up for that race!!!
On training note, I did a bike ride this morning, easy biking for 90min and then ran in the evening. I ran 1 continuous mile and then did some run/walk shuffle for another mile. I wanted to do more but I started to feel something in my ITB and it scared hell out of me so I just stopped. Maybe I have overreacted and could have continued but well, we will never know now. But I prefer feeling guilty about being a slacker than sitting here with newly injured ITB and banging my head against the wall for my stupidity.
It does not hurt now but I feel little tingling in it:(
One good news is that the company that is flying me for assessment test for trainee program next week has decided to pay for taxi for me to get to the airport from my house and back. Because if I had to pay for it it would have been a financial disaster for me:)
Hurting in a different way
1 day ago