Quitter

Yes, I am.
I just could not do my swim workout today. (Originally this workout was planned for Fr but because of pool situation I had to swap today and Fr)
I knew what was ahead of me and I tried not to think about it during the day. And I did not. But maybe I should have, I kind of feel that although thinking about workout during the day makes me super stressed it also helps me become focused.

So I got to the pool and 1 lane was open. Did my w/up and started the intervals when suddenly there is a person in my lane. This guy just start swimming there without letting me know! I did not see him since I was doing 100s and I was swimming in the middle of the lane but he saw me so he moved all the way to the side to let me swim by him. Horrible. It totally threw me off. And then this gal joins in! I was like, f*** this, I am just staying on my side of the lane for now because I am not doing circles when I have to work my ass off to hit my paces. The guy was on the other side of the pool and she started swimming on the right side of a lane and I started few seconds after her on the left side and suddenly she moved to the middle of the lane (doing breaststroke) and I basically swam over her. I did not see that she moved to the middle and why the hell did she do it? I was sooo pissed and I am sure that so was see because then she moved to the neighboring lane:)
But I was totally off my paces by then and I had to stop to calm down.
I calmed down and I started again but I was just flat (both physically and mentally). I cannot do this workout.
I stopped again after 3 intervals, and told myself to put my shit together. I did 3 intervals again and I then I got out of the pool. I just cannnot do that workout. It is the second time I tried it. It is way too hard for me and I got totally discouraged by those idiot swimmers in my lane.

My swimming sucks these days. Actually, it has been like this since mid-May. I struggle. I do not know why. I like swimming but it is very stressfull and all these workouts I fail one after another are not helping me to stop stressing about the next one. Past week was very good because workouts were easy for my down week but now they are getting harder again.
It is not workouts, I think that it is mostly my attitute and I have been just tired in past fews days although I do not know why because things are falling finally into place.
I think that my workous are actually little easier that then were in April and May but I cannot do them anymore. WHY???????

But I am actually looking forward to my workouts on Fr and Sat (which is the workout I moved from Monday) because although they are challenging, I think I will be able to do them if I push. Not today's workout though.

ITB feels great by the way. Like new. Seriously. Another speed session tomorrow.