I am not making this stuff up

I am getting really good at taking a rear wheel off, fixing flat tire and putting a wheel back. I mean, really good.

It seems that flat tire is neverending story for me. Let's recapitulate:
Monday: 1st day of going to work on bike. There was a hole on a road, I rode through it and cut an air tube.
I had a kit to fix it, but there was no glue there. Only sticky patches. I have never used them without an extra glue because I always thought they won't last very long. (And I was right.) I got home ok.
Tuesday: Morning- tire still ok. I got to work (got attacked by an angry goose).
However in the afternoon, tire was flat. I put on a new patch and rode to Target to get a glue. They did not have any so I got a new self-sealing (and very expensive) tire. Changed tires in the evening but I still kept the old one (and I do not regret that)
Wednesday-yesterday: No incident
Yesterday: I decided to inflate tires bit. But my pump is (was) soooo stupid and bad. I knew it was bad, I actually went to a store and returned it but bought the same one again because they were out of stock that day. Anyway, when I was trying to get the the pump off the valve, I tore it off...my $8 self-sealing tire! Damaged forever, no chance for it.
It was too late so I could not go to store so I put sticky patch on an old tire and hoped it will hold for couple hours.
Today: Morning- ok. I got to work. After work- tire was flat. But that's not everything. My bike lock broke down and I could not open it!!! Maintenance guys were already gone so I called the security but they were not very helpful. Thankfully there was one person still in R&D garage and he found huge pliers somewhere and was able to cut the lock (thanks God it was the lowest security lock. I have no idea what I would have done if it had been like super advanced anti-theft lock. But that one probably would not have broken...)
I fix the tire with a sticker again and decided to go to a store to get a new air tube, glue, a new air pump and bike lock.
And guess what happened. Like 50 meters before turning to a parking lot, I got a F**** FLAT TIRE! At first I thought that the patch peeled off but then I found out a 1,5 inch long nail sticking out of my tire. Can you believe this?
I got TWO new tubes (from now on I am going to carry an extra one with me, just in case), a pump and lock(they did not have glue). Of course they did not have Schrader valve tubes, only Prestas for road bikes. (although I have easier time inflating a Presta valve than Schrader, I tent to break valve caps very easily on them...) Now I have one Presta and one Schrader on a bike. But my new pump seems very good and lock is good as well(but if this one breaks, I am screwed...because nobody won't be able to open it).

With all this going on, I got home at 9:30pm!!!! I was supposed to do a workout today but that did not happen because I had to deal with this first because I would not be able to get to work tomorrow and I had no idea that it would take me so long.