I am slowly but certainly losing it.
My ITB hurts (and I am starting to think that it will never stop), I do not like my new coach (or rather what he makes me do, or better what he does not make me do) very much, I cannot find a pool where I can swim (I already went to two different pools at three different times and everytime I turned on my heel and walked back home), my bike is a piece of garbage (too big for me, the bottom bracket makes horrible noises and rear wheel goes left ad right as if it was not even fastened to the frame and I am expecting it to fall apart any moment, I just hope I will be within walking distance to my place).
I know. Stop whining and do something about it! But WHAT????
Yes, I am going to keep looking for a pool, I am going to continue biking until I kill myself in a fall, I will part ways with CH.
But what am I supposed to do with that ITB? I know that I have not tried everything yet. I have not got MRI to see whether there is something wrong with soft tissues(because RTG looks good, no problem), I can have bursa removed surgically etc. But I do not think that I am serious enough athlete to have a surgery to fix it.
But you know what? I am starting to think that I should just bag this triathlon idea.
I am not at that point when you stop caring whether you complete a workout or not. I care. I care a lot. And since last 2 months were a complete disaster (and actually last year was a complete disaster running-wise) and it seems that it will continue being a disaster for at least next 2-3 months it is just making me frustrated.
Plus you cannot do triathlon without running, can you? So what's the point? I cannot run,I cannot train. And why the hell am I stressing myself? I do not need that? I honestly think that that ITB problem will never go away. Well, maybe it will, in a year or two. But I do not want to wait for years. I do not like thinking long-time.
My life would be so much easier if I did not have to stress every single day that once again I am not able to get a run in, a swim in, a decent bike workout in. I just do not know how to do it without putting my whole myself into it, without commitment, without getting better and better, without decent results.
I also do not like what I am doing this year. I had a blast last year with bike/swim (and run when I was able to run). So far this year, not so much. It seems that nothing has structure, that I do not have anything (races, times etc) to shoot for, I have no paces/watts/HR to train by. Last year at least swim/bike has structure, but now everything seems very random. I know that it is not all CH's fault, at the moment this stupid pool and bike situation are behind it.
I realize that this does not make much sense, I tend to ramble and ramble and I have long ago lost the thread in this post.
So to summarize, I hate my training right not, and I do not think that I will be able to train properly in a near future because of my ITB. And it makes me super frustrated and stressed:(
My First Stroller 5K
2 weeks ago
You've had so much stress in the past year, with the moves, uncertainty, etc. I think this is a huge part of the frustration. Perhaps taking a short break where you just exercise for fun, when you feel like it, would help. I am puzzled as well about the ITB; You've certainly tried so many things - maybe not light good shoes, but everything else. I wonder how much the stress impacts your ITB, not that it can "cause" it, but just exacerbate it. Just a thought. Hope things slow down and get to a sense of normal for you soon.
ReplyDeleteok. let's think this through.
ReplyDeletethis IT band has not responded long term to anything you have tried. worst case scenario - you cannot continue training as a runner. (i don`t think that's the case just trying to work backwards from the worst case scenario).
could you be happy being a cyclist. period. or a swimmer. period. or seriously focusing on one and just doing the other occasionally for fun? what is it that you derive from sport? what is it that sport gives you that makes you happy? it's difficult to put one's finger on what makes us happy but if you can figure it out than perhaps you can figure out how to still derive this happiness and well being without running.
if you realize you need running to be happy then go for it. screw whether you are "serious enough" or not to seek the most advanced treatments. if there are options, than pursue them!
BLAH. I'm with AM... I am a firm believer (I think we've talked about this before?) that stress plays a major role in our physical well-being... I think we each have a 'weak spot' (for me it is my calves for others it is low back for you it is ITB). I think your #1 priority is to figure out a way to reduce life stress, which is hard I know- if it was easy we would all live perfectly stress-free lives, right??) but I think for you with all your job insecurity and moving and life is just never settled and you are a creature of habit/routine and you NEED that to thrive... Somehow you need to make peace with the place you are in your life and know that THE GOOD NEWS is that triathlon will always be there to come back to! Don't let it add extra stress- let your training be a form of stress relief. You have no races on the calendar this year which is probably a huge blessing in disguise b/c a race looming would totally add to your stress!
ReplyDeleteAnd next time you get to one of those pools, force yourself to get in. Quit being a wuss about that. ;)
I do not feel stressed. I probably am with all the job/moving drama but do not feel like that. I am happy with where I am in life.
ReplyDeleteThe only stress I am aware of is from not being able to run/bike/swim.
I think that itb is completely physiological since it hurts no matter what I do/how I feel.
@PPC: Maybe I should seek the most advanced treatments now that I am paying 250Eur/month for health insurance. They better have some miracle doctors here for that kind of money! Unfortunately I do not have time off work to visit those miracle doctors:(