Sunday, May 12, 2013


And the struggle continues...

You know what the last thing I want to do when I get home after getting up at 5am, doing a workout, and then going go!go!go! 12 hours at work is? It is biking.
Actually all I want to do is do nothing, just sit and give my brain a rest, get a mental break. I am a vegetable by the time I get home from work and my poor brain is fried but I can usually force myself into running or swimming, but biking....not so much. You see, my bike workouts are hard and they require a lot of focus and concentration. (Swim and run are also hard but they do not require that much concentration and thus are not as mentally taxing as bike is for me) and I just do not have energy to focus.

I have had a little meltdown 3 weeks ago. I skipped 2 bikes, 1 swim and 1 run that week. It was the same week my boss told me I cannot have vacation in August to go to Hawaii for training camp and that we shall see about vacation in September for Vegas.... NOT a coincidence.  (Ok, I have not qualified for Vegas yet but you must believe in yourself)

I somehow recovered, did a few "do not care about pace/time/power" workouts and I have been alright for the last 2 weeks but I know that the tension is building again and in a couple weeks I will have another meltdown if I have to continue working 10-12hours a day.

I also have no fire in me any more. I was excited for Buffalo Springs Lake but not anymore. I am not excited for anything. I only go through motions.

I will do my best to manage everything until June 30 and try not to blow up before that.

I originally wanted to write more about my training in the last two weeks because there were some good days but I do not want to do it anymore. Zero motivation.


  1. Before I went through periods where I worked long days at a demanding job, I never would have understood this post... I would have thought, yeah, but you sat at your desk all day, how can you be too tired to train?? But it is amazing how being mentally fried can make it so very tough to get out the door.

    In situations like this, I find it is sometimes helpful to tell myself - I am going to change into my work-out gear and go for 5 minutes and if I REALLY am not feeling it after 5 minutes, I give myself permission to drop the work-out but I MUST at least change and do 5 minutes. Then 90% of the time I manage to do some reasonable facsimilie of the planned work-out.

    On the other hand, sometimes you really just have to say f**k it and stay home. It is a bit of an art knowing which approach is the right one on any given day.

    I hope you do manage to find the mental energy to finish off your training for the HIM in June because you sounded really excited about it.

  2. I had to write again to tell you that the second word I had to enter to prove I wasn't a robot on that last comment was "runs" .