And the struggle continues...
You know what the last thing I want to do when I get home after getting up at 5am, doing a workout, and then going go!go!go! 12 hours at work is? It is biking.
Actually all I want to do is do nothing, just sit and give my brain a rest, get a mental break. I am a vegetable by the time I get home from work and my poor brain is fried but I can usually force myself into running or swimming, but biking....not so much. You see, my bike workouts are hard and they require a lot of focus and concentration. (Swim and run are also hard but they do not require that much concentration and thus are not as mentally taxing as bike is for me) and I just do not have energy to focus.
I have had a little meltdown 3 weeks ago. I skipped 2 bikes, 1 swim and 1 run that week. It was the same week my boss told me I cannot have vacation in August to go to Hawaii for training camp and that we shall see about vacation in September for Vegas.... NOT a coincidence. (Ok, I have not qualified for Vegas yet but you must believe in yourself)
I somehow recovered, did a few "do not care about pace/time/power" workouts and I have been alright for the last 2 weeks but I know that the tension is building again and in a couple weeks I will have another meltdown if I have to continue working 10-12hours a day.
I also have no fire in me any more. I was excited for Buffalo Springs Lake but not anymore. I am not excited for anything. I only go through motions.
I will do my best to manage everything until June 30 and try not to blow up before that.
I originally wanted to write more about my training in the last two weeks because there were some good days but I do not want to do it anymore. Zero motivation.